5 Back-to-School Survival Tips Every Parent Needs
As a school counselor and a mother of 5, I have seen my fair share of first days of school. As a parent, you can feel so helpless as you send your kid off with a hope and a prayer that everything goes well for them. Will they like their teachers? Will they have someone to eat with at lunch? Will they know how to get to their classes? As the new school year begins, here are some key areas of concern and practical tips to help you navigate this exciting but nerve-racking time with your teen:
What to do if your child doesn’t like their teacher.
How to handle the disappointment of not having classes with friends.
Supporting your child after a rough first day.
Why you are your child’s greatest source of support.
If Your Child Doesn’t Like Their Teacher
It’s natural for parents to want their kids to have the best teachers. We want to protect them from any negative experiences. However, when we rush to make “teacher requests” or ask for schedule changes too early, we might unknowingly rob them of valuable opportunities to grow—and even to appreciate future teachers more.
When my son was in 6th grade, he really struggled with his math teacher. He absolutely hated the class, not just because of the teaching style, but also because of the teacher’s personality. Every day, my husband and I would hear about how much he disliked going to math. It was a tough year, and he had a hard time. But he got through it. Now, in 8th grade, he loves his math teachers. One of the reasons is that he can compare them to that challenging 6th-grade experience. He often jokes, “Anyone is better than Mr. _____!” Because of the negative experience he had with that teacher two years ago, he is now able to recognize and appreciate the strengths of his current teachers. I doubt he will ever complain about a bad math teacher ever again.
As a school counselor, I often hear from families who want to make sure their kids have only the “best” teachers. While this comes from a place of love, when kids don’t have the chance to experience a variety of teaching styles and personalities, they miss out on learning resilience. These experiences—positive or negative—help them recognize and appreciate the qualities of good teachers when they find them.
I know it’s hard to watch your child struggle, especially when you know there are “bad” teachers out there. But as you support and encourage them through the tough times, you’re also building a deeper connection with them. More importantly, you’re showing them that you believe in their ability to handle adversity. If we rush in to “save” them too soon, it can unintentionally send the message that we don’t think they’re strong enough to face challenges.
So, if your child isn’t thrilled about their teacher this year, try to remember that this difficult experience might be exactly what they need to build self-confidence and resilience. And those skills are what will help them have an even better year next year. For more ideas on how to build resilience in your teen, check out my live workshop, 5 Keys to Raising Resilient Kids/Teens.
If Your Child Doesn’t Have Classes with Their Friends
It’s tough for teens when they realize they don’t have classes with their close friends. I see it happen every year: a group of friends works so hard to get their schedules to perfectly match, hoping to be together in every class. But inevitably, they have a falling out, and suddenly they’re stuck with each other all day, unable to escape the tension. What started as excitement turns into frustration, and they’re miserable for the rest of the year because they can’t get the space they need.
This separation from friends, while initially disappointing, can actually open up a whole new world of possibilities for personal growth and expanding their social network. It helps teens build friendships outside their usual circle, fostering social independence. Encourage your teen to see this as an opportunity to meet new people and broaden their perspective.
Remind them that space from friends isn’t necessarily bad—it can lead to stronger, healthier friendships in the long run. Support your teen in viewing this as a chance to learn valuable social skills and build resilience.
If Your Child Has a Bad First Day
Bad days happen, and the first day of school can be particularly tough. As a parent, it’s natural to want to reassure your teen that everything will be okay. But be cautious of forced positivity. Statements like “I’m sure it wasn’t that bad” or “I bet tomorrow will be better” can feel very invalidating. Instead, try saying things like, “I believe you. That sounds really tough,” or “I would probably feel the same way if that happened to me.” These statements help to build connection as you sit with the discomfort of your child's bad day instead of trying to fix it or cheer them up.
Give them space to vent and express their feelings. Simply validating their emotions—without immediately trying to fix them—can go a long way in helping them feel understood. This approach builds emotional intelligence and resilience. When you respond in this way, you are sending the message that you can handle the tough stuff in their life, which will make them more likely to come to you with problems again in the future.
Remember, your calm and compassionate presence is the best reassurance.
You Are Their Greatest Support
No matter how many teachers, friends, or counselors they have, your support as a parent is irreplaceable. Teens may seem more independent, but your involvement still makes a huge impact on their emotional well-being.
Look for simple ways to connect with them throughout the school year—whether it’s chatting about their day, attending events, or spending quiet time together. These small acts of presence remind them that they are loved, supported, and never alone, no matter what school throws their way.
Be present in their daily lives, even in small moments, to nurture their emotional health. If you are looking for more ways to support the emotional growth of your teen, check out my online courses.
Final Thoughts
The challenges of a new school year can feel overwhelming, but with the right support and perspective, they’re opportunities for growth. By encouraging adaptability, fostering social growth, offering a safe space to express emotions, and being a steady source of support, you help your teen navigate these changes with confidence. For more ideas on how to support your teen’s mental and emotional well-being, subscribe to my parenting newsletter. Here, you’ll receive practical tips, expert advice, and helpful strategies for navigating the ups and downs of parenting teens. Plus, you'll stay updated on my latest online courses, designed to empower you with the tools and insights to foster resilience, emotional intelligence, and healthy relationships in your teen. Don’t miss out on valuable resources to help you and your teen thrive!
Here’s to a school year filled with growth, resilience, and connection! You’ve got this—and so do they. 🌟